Hmmmmm. I don’t know about that.

I have his rookie card.

 It is, isn’t it?

CSI: Boring

CSI: Repetitive

CSI: Derivative

It really bothers me when someone misses a belt buckle.

I passed by a woman wearing a shirt that read: "Who needs big tits?"

But she had big tits.

So I’m wondering if it was a sales pitch.

Friend: Why don’t you eat lunch at a buffet in one of the bodegas?

Me: Because I don’t like diarrhea.  

*For non-New Yorkers, a bodega is a small, poorly run "convenience" store. 

Water Hammer

Today I saw a homeless guy stop asking for money in order to hit on an absolutely beautiful woman.

Dear Anonymous Homeless Man – Women like money. And homes. But, dammit, "a" for effort, son. Never give up. 

"Change so I can eat. Change so I can eat. Hey, girl, what’s your name?" 

Hmmmmm. I don’t know about that. 

Lucky’s Sidehole

I prowl the stage with cat-like intensity.

"He who chases two rabbits catches neither."

Focus, people.