"We be aware of what you hunger."

"Look out for giants. They’ll smash your ships."

The warm weather brings out the sidewalk cafes in NYC. When I walk by a table, I have the urge to pick up someone’s plate and drop it on the sidewalk.

But I never do.

I’m an even bigger jerk in my mind. 

How do cops get the Barnes and Noble assignment? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

I saw a woman carrying a book with this title.

It made me think. If you become the person you want to find, then you will no longer need the person you were looking for.

Deep, man. Too deep for a website called Captain Hilarious.  You should click on over to Alfred Einsteen dot com.

You might garner more sympathy, and in return make more money, if you put away the iPod.

I had no idea they still made Brut cologne.

Private First Class Amusing

"Shut yer cat food hole."

1. Lots of crying.

2. Not much action.

(Oh, and it cost me $11.)