Fair-Weather MySpace Friend
I should have known something was wrong when MySpace asked me if I was sure I wanted to add you as a friend. At the time, I thought I was.
But now I send you messages that get marked “read”, yet no response. I always wait in vain for a “replied”. Sometimes they don’t get read for a few days. I see that you’re online! I check out your other Friends and I see witty post after witty post.
You constantly make snide comments about my Top 8. You’ve never accepted even one of my event invites. The next time I get a questionnaire bulletin from you about your love of Angelina Jolie and the fact that you’ve kissed both men and women, rather than choose “Reply To Poster” I will be forced to use the more draconian “Delete from Friends”.
I’m sorry. I have to be tough and take a stand. The way I do against those dreaded band requests. Who likes bands anyway?
Don’t Let This Happen To You
Evening. The Future.
Dan: "Hello."
Elaine: "Daaaaaan! Hey! It’s Elaine! Remember me? We went to a wedding together."
D: "Sure. How are you?"
E: "Great! I’m married to this rockabilly guy and we’re living on Staten Island."
D: "That’s great. What can I do for you?"
E: "Well, I saw that your album went straight to number 1 and that you’re in the new Will Farrell movie…I was wondering if you could help me out with some tickets to your show at Madison Square Garden?"
D: "Remember when you didn’t come to my show in Brooklyn?"
E: "Yeah."
(click)
Mel Frankenstein
A while back, I read an interview with Mel Gibson where he talked about his love of American sports and how he enjoyed going to baseball games and eating peanuts and hotdogs. I think it’s safe to say that the dogs were not Hebrew National.
(These are the best hotdogs, by the way.)
